5 Greatest Ads on TV

With all the trashy advertisements trying to sell products which have no relation to the actual advertisement, there are some which are witty and beyond cute!! Here are a few tasters

‘ Papa , Meri Pehli Salary’ – Tata AIG Life Insurance


This advertisement shows a little boy offering to help and elderly ‘aunty’ with her shopping bags . After lugging them up to her apartment , she gives him a rupee for his effort ( this boy is too sweet to protest at the low rates , hello its 2007 , no one will do anything for just a buck these days!!) . Little boys says ‘Thank you , Auntie!’ (Cue for everyone to say awwwwwwww) and instead of buying sweets (probably don’t get too many sweets for one buck today) , he goes to Daddy’s office and interrupts board meeting and tells Daddy , ‘Papa meri pehli salary!’ Awww!! Hope to see more of this little guy , he won over my heart with his wide eyed innocence and cute voice!

‘Glad Bangles/Mad Angles’ – Bingo Chips

This is admittedly a really annoying ad with that blondie starting out her TSN Teleshopping Network petulant voiceover in Hindi (‘ Mere jeevan mein kuch theek nahin thaaaa , Meri billi Jemima mujhse bhaagti theeeeeee’) . So she buys Glad Bangles with ‘Feng Shueeee Crystals’ to right her life and they do , BUT they don’t have the crispy Tomato Zingyness of Mad Angle Chips from Bingo.?????????????
But it grabs the attention of anyone who is idly channel surfing and that is a feat for any advertisement , no? Kudos to the person who thought this up!!

‘ Waango-Pongo-Ukkaroongo’ – Bingo Chips

Ok so I know I just did a Bingo ad , but hey this one is cool too!! The ‘host-bane-dost line from KBC ( did he say mehman-nawa-zee?) is really cheesy , but the ad is ultimately an eye catcher. The guy also taught me the correct pronunciation of ‘Ukkaroongo’! But , lemon achar flavour isn’t exactly my cup of tea , or to put it properly , my bag of chips…


‘ Bachao!!!!’ – Fast Track Eyegear

Two words that make this whole ad what it is : John Abraham. New cool short hair. Amazing style. Pretty girls throwing themselves at him , saying ‘ Bachao!’ ( bet it took them atleast three tries to pronounce it right). Exotic foreign destination (Morocco).

Hey John , humein bhi bachao , India women won’t reject you whne you take those shades off!!!


Human Lightbulbs - Happydent White

This ad shows the entire ( appearing to be old Rajasthani ) kingdom , lit up by guys who chew Happydent White and dazzle with their pearly whites. Truly fascinating and well done. There are guys crouched on car bumpers , balancing on street light poles and lighting up the chandelier for Maharaja’s dinner. That’s a true solution to the energy problem!! Happydent White!!!

Dr. Bhatavadekar and his Cow –Orbit White

Ok , so this is the five greatest advertisements on TV but this one is too good to miss. After a long series of Dr. Bhatavadekar and his broken English and beloved cow , here’s another before-and-after look at the use of Orbit White (In the before…) The beloved cow has dirty yellow teeth that has even grass screaming and for the lack of a better word running ( jumping?leaping?) away from her . (In the after) Orbit White attracts the grass which is only to willing to jump to suicide in her newly shining teeth. If flora had the ability to do this wouldn’t deforestation be impossible??? Ok , to get back on track the trump card of this ad is Dr. Bhata-whatever reciting the poem

Yellow , yellow , dirty fellow,
White , white Orbit White.

(“ It is not the rhyming but it is the true”)

A true Shakespeare in the making….

by Vrinda Manocha

May 29-30 2007

The Board Student Rants

I’m not scared anymore as to what you might think ,
As to what people think , what they’re scheming inside.
I’m not scared anymore when they shake there heads
I’m done with my tears , I’m not ready to hide.

They drove me to the edge , trying to make me perfect,
Their expectations rose higher , higher every day
I suffered in silence , trying to be that person,
Till I knew that it was impossible to ever be that way.

I can’t kill my own happiness trying to please everyone,
I have every right to be happy , to hold my head high
I’m not a robot , never was , never will be,
And I’m through with my fears , I’m not going to cry.

Just because I don’t get a 90 or get top of my class,
Doesn’t mean I didn’t work , that I ‘failed’ out of spite
I know that I’ m not the best but I do what I can
And I do for myself , what I know is right.

So if you don’t know what its like , being a board student
Don’t make stupid comments ‘cause you’re clueless , you see,
Just know that it’s harder than what you think it is
I don’t need you or anyone else trying to judge me.

By Vrinda Manocha
May18-19 2007

Death

This is just something random I thought of the day before my Board Results came out , can't help it. Just want to know what anyone thinks of it....


Why are we all scared of death? Is it because its so final , so inevitable , so mysterious?
What would you think if you knew death would take you to a better place?
A place where you were free of the problems and trials that bound you to this earth?
A place where you would get back everything you lost in your lifetime , loves , hopes , dreams?
What if you knew that?

What are we scared of? A judgement as to where we deserve to go :to heaven or hell?
Or to discover that there is nothing there? No heaven , no hell , just an emptiness , just an end to it all? Are we afraid of leaving the ones we love? But wouldn’t we find people who’d gone ahead to be reunited with them at last?

And would you cling to this thread of life , afraid to leave your material possessions behind , because all you’ve worked for means nothing in death?

Some people find death as a refuge , to end their problems and find an eventual peace , leaving the tangled web behind them to be passed onto some other poor soul.
Some people welcome death , to end the pain that they suffer every day of their lives , whether physical or mental.
And some people think of it as a shadow , swooping ever closer , and do everything they can to delay it all.

But if someone came back from the dead , not in a horror movie , but really.
Would you believe that he had gone to a better place and would you be anxious to free yourself of your burden? Maybe so. Maybe not.

Then again , some questions aren’t meant to be answered.

Child at Heart

In childhood I’d think that the sun went to hide,
Then the moon came along on her heavenly ride,
The stars came up to light her on her way
And she’d watch over them till night turned to day.

The sun was an artist who’d paint the sky red,
And chivvy the stars along , send them to bed
The clouds would come out and dance in the sky
And I’d watch them sailing like ships going by.

At school , I soon learnt that it really wasn’t true
I saw my childish thoughts in a new point of view.
The sky wasn’t canvas , the clouds had scientific names
And they weren’t the ones I invented in my childish games.

So I stopped believing in childhood and tried to grow up more
Preparing myself for surprises that adulthood had in store,
I learnt the science behind things I took for granted every day
And I ceased to notice them , since the magic didn’t stay.

And as my head kept filling , I left my innocence behind
Failed to notice anything beyond the daily grind ,
The answer , I thought , to everything is found inside a book
And since I thought I knew it , I failed to take an actual look.

Till one day before a test in school , I went out to get some air
And I noticed things about which long ago , I used to care
My old memories and sweetness came flooding back to me,
And in my childhood vision I looked around , began to see.

The moon was still a lantern , the guide of people lost at night
I didn’t think for a minute that she shone with borrowed light
The stars weren’t just balls of gases , burning their lives away ,
But real living creatures coming out at night , to play.

That night lit a spark inside me , that refused to die,
That told me though I had no wings , I could attempt to fly.
And though I know that in my life , knowledge will play a part
I have ‘crazy’ thoughts within me , ‘cause I’m a child at heart.

By Vrinda Manocha

15th May 2007

No one

By Vrinda Manocha

Can you hear me? It seems so quiet out here,
No one but me to taste my own fear.
No one to see me attempting to swallow my pride.
No one to ask me why I run and hide.
No one to tell me they’re rational , my fears
No one to watch me fight back my tears.
No one to say its okay to cry.
No one to watch as my time ticks by.

I’m living a life but I long to let go.
I’m screaming inside but noone seems to know.
I’m alive on a hope that I know won’t come true,
I’m seeing the world from a strange point of view.

This world has no hope for me , no place to hide
No one cares enough to see why I’ve cried
No one to trust and no one to care
No one to hold me and say they’ll be there.

I’ve written my farewell in a single short note,
Trying to tell everyone that it isn’t their fault.
There isn’t anything worth anything I’m leaving behind
Hospital bills , accusations in my mind.

Mom telling me I should’ve been careful crossing the road,
Dad telling me these bills are more than we can afford.
They don’t think of my scars , they don’t think of my pain.
I’m not going through this painful guilt process again.

So goodbye cruel world , I’m going somewhere else
Where I don’t hurt as much and can be myself.
I’m sure there’ll be good times waiting for me,
I’m doing myself a favour and setting me free.

10 Things I Hate About Shoe Shopping

10.

Shoe shops always smell funny . That artificial shoe making material SMELL. And leather is not much better either. Owners should probably invest in room freshener.

9.

Over helpful assistants. Shoe shops with those assistants that stand around and practically breathe down your neck and assume those I'm -ready-to-help-you!!!!!!!!! smiles. And the way they follow you around the shop?? Scary. Sherlock Holmes would have been proud.

8.

The whole one-shoe-on-the-rack thing. Is it honestly that hard to keep both shoes on the shelf? I do not enjoy asking the salesman chokra to give me the second shoe while he keps his hundred watt smile in place. Maybe they're scared people will walk out with both shoes. Note to shoe shop owners: Put both shoes on the shelf , cut down your chokra staff and invest in security cameras.

7.

The optimistic staff. No matter HOW many times you tell them its a small size , they optimistically INSIST that the shoe will stretch and how it suits your petite little feet. Hundred watt smiles get updated to thousand watts as they try to sell you a pair that will no doubt pinch your toes into screaming submission.

6.

Womens shoes. In: bright colours , high heels , tacky stones. Out: Comfort. I'd like to catch the sadist who invented high heels and cram them (especially pencil heels) , down his/her throat.

Oh sure , they look pretty for the first two hours and later your feet start to swell and those precious little sequins and stones begin to imprint a pattern on your toes. Lovely , isn't it. Also , not to all Indian women: Heels are not suited to Indian roads unless you want to break your ankle and land up being helped by a cheapo roadside Romeo.

5.

Nosey staff. No matter how horrible your Yeti paws look inside kitten heels , there will always be the oily salesman who tell you it looks beautiful and will match with soooo many of your clothes and how these are so in . The problem is many customers fall for this drivel. Hello? Unless this guy is gay ,(which I suspect not cause I'm sure gay guys have higher and better paying jobs in boutiques across India) , he will not be able to tell you what colours go together because , well , the majority of Indian guys have four colours in their wardrobes. Black , blue , gray , white and thats not counting various shades of the same colour. Yup , the metrosexual male need to work hard to catch up.

4.

Shoe prices. Shoes now cost what diamond jewelry cost fifty years ago. Just slap on a fancy French brand name and you're good to slap on obscene prices for any simple footwear. Add another few words 'orthopaedic' , 'long lasting' , 'american diamonds' , 'paris' and you can add another few 1000s to price label .

3.

Shoes sales. The average Indian woman loves the word 'sale' and yes , whatever sale it might be from your Nalli to Regal , she's going to running . And to the inexperienced shoe shopper , these events can be potentially fatal. Ok , maybe not fatal but harmful . Watch in amazement as aunties jostle around for 'jootis' , teenagers totter around in skyscraper heels , bored husbands count the cash in their wallets , harried salesmen toss boxes over your head and watch your feet wich could entangle in this mess causing you to come down rather heavily.

2.

Trying shoes on. This applies mainly to again...the staff. I hate people putting shoes on my feet. This is the twenty first century where it is perfectly possible for women to do this without having servant maids attending to their every whim. Plus , its sorta sad , cause it brings in mind the whole Cinderella and Prince Charming thing , where when the glass slipper fit it led her to eternal happiness. If your shoe fits the only thing you'll be led to is the cash counter. One whiff of eau de Sweaty Salesman will remind you that real life is not like a fairy tale

AAANND...

1.

Ok , so you've braved it all. You've found the perfect pair with the perfect price to match your perfect outfit for a perfect date. But hang on , your heel is sticking out the back . And you turn to ask Mr Salesman only to find.....

THEY DON"T HAVE A LARGER SIZE

by Vrinda M

Believer

Believer

When you think that you’re immune to love , you never really know,
That one day , someday , wherever you are , this feeling might just show,
And though you think ‘ it won’t happen to me , its overrated crap’
Next thing you know you’re caught right in the middle of its trap.

It could hit you like a ton of bricks , catch you unawares.
Or creep up to you slowly before you realize that it is there
And no matter how fast you run or how much you try to hide.
It’s a feeling , that won’t just go away , coming deep from your inside

What will you do when it hits you? Will you ignore , push it away?
Convince yourself that it’s not true , try to stop feeling this way?
But you know you’re noticing someone more than you’re noticed before
That there is something special for you , something ahead , in store.

You know there’s something different , something fresher in the air
The flowers look plain no more , you no longer seem to care
About school or work , pass or fail , if there’s work at all,
All you know that is you’re on the cliff-edge and just about to fall.

And just the sound of his voice or name and you slowly start to smile
It seems that this ‘conscience’ of yours is making life worthwhile.
And your daydreams run wild and free and so do your dreams at night.
You’re the princess who’s swept off her feet by her handsome , brave white knight.

But there’s a deep pain inside you because he really doesn’t know,
How much you feel for him and you wish you really could let go.
But somehow even the pain feels good though you really don’t know why,
And you know that you won’t let this feeling go , though you don’t cease to try.

At the sound single footstep , you’re heart begins to beat,
And your breathe catches in your chest till you know it’s not his feet
And then the pain sets in because you’d hope that he’d be there,
To say those three words you want to hear , to know that he too , cares.

You try to come up with faults to pick about him but every single flaw,
Makes you realize that you don’t care , you love him even more.
You’re not perfect yourself , you don’t aim to be that way,
And you know that however he is , your feelings will surely stay.

How will you get over these feelings? How do you plan to live?
Knowing your conscience doesn’t know the love you have to give?
There’s a hope you can’t let go of and its keeping you alive
Waiting , waiting , waiting for your true love to arrive.

When you thought you were immune to love , you never really knew,
That one day , someday, wherever you were , it would affect you too
And it just never seemed to be your scene and you were prepared to live that way
Till love itself came up to you , sweeping those thoughts away.

by Vrinda Manocha